August 31, 2000

One year ago: It's Molly's birthday (which means it is again today!) and I start classes for the semester. One guy in my class looooooves the Dave Matthews Band.

So I'm back from Sin City. None of my flights were delayed more than a half-hour and I didn't lose my savings at the casino. And I had a fantastic time. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

Jim dropped me off at the airport early Thursday (and I do mean EARLY Thursday -- like 6:15 AM, which is usually when I'm just going to bed) and I made it on my first flight just fine. I was the only one in my row, and had all kinds of room. After changing flights in Chicago, I was in a much more crowded plane. I had a window seat in the first row behind first class, so crazy leg room. There was an empty seat next to me, but the flight was delayed. We had one of those Too Much Information Pilots, who was all, "Let me tell you exactly what's wrong with the plane" which I really did not need to know RIGHT BEFORE TAKEOFF! Fortunately, a part was not broken -- it was the sensor that was broken. Then we all had to wait until they found the "special tape" to tape the part back together, which did not help my fear of flying one bit. While we were waiting, Chatty McCellphone boarded and had to sit next to me. He was one of those antsy guys, and we were sitting on the runway for a while, so he had to call all his friends and be all, "Hey, guess where I am? Yeah, the runway. No, they don't know. Yeah, my cell phone." I tried to give him the stank-eye to no avail. Luckily we were soon on our way to Vegas, and he shut up for most of the flight.

I put my quarter in the first slot machine off the plane, and won $2. A harbinger of things to come? Keep reading. Upon arrival at the Luxor, I was informed that I couldn't check in because my name was not on the room reservation, and they couldn't give me Wing's room number for whatever reason, so I left her a message, checked my luggage, and started walking around the casino looking for anyone I knew. After wandering aimlessly for a while, I heard someone say, "Kim?" I looked up and said, "Pamie?" Yes, it was her Squishy-ness herself, and though we had never met in person, we recognized each other. She introduced me to her traveling companion (a.k.a. her mom) and told me where everyone was. Some convoluted time later, I met up with Wing, Strega, Gustave and alex richmond for lunch at the Pharaoh's Pheast Buffet (could I make up a name like that?). After lunch, we went up to Sars' room and met her brother (Mr. Stupidhead), Wendola, Pooh, niki, and djb. There was much joking and laughing and getting to know one another. The rest of the day was spent largely waiting for everyone to arrive. Pamie's mom gave me a video poker tutorial and I proceeded to lose $40 very quickly. We ended the day by watching a clearly-on-some-sort-of-drug Vince Vaughn on the Tonight Show. As I was changing into my jammies, there was a knock at the door. Wing didn't know I was changing, so she opened it to find Jessica and Megyn, so their first glimpse of me was in my underwear. Sweet.

Friday, we got up not so bright and not at all early. Those lead-lined curtains really work. Anyway, Wing called around to see what everyone was up to, but only Niki answered. We three decided to check out what the other casinos had to offer. In the lobby, we met up with various other members of our party, some of whom had painted the town red the night before. As someone mentioned "titty bars" (jokingly, of course), this random guy walking by was all, "Me and my friends love titty bars!" Whuh? Who asked you? Anyway, Omar and his girlfriend Rebecca and also Pooh decided to join us on our journey. We went to various and sundry other casinos, including a stop at the rightfully-praised Krispy Kreme (mmm, donuts). The first picture on the page is (right to left) Rebecca, Omar, me, Niki and Pooh doing our best Supremes imitation at the Motown Cafe. We had wanted to dine at the MGM Grand buffet, having heard good things, but it was closed. CLOSED! So we went to the Rainforest Cafe, where an animatronic leopard was fucking with me. Everyone laughed when I said it was, and then they looked, and then they knew. It was totally staring at me. Shut up, it was. We came back to the Luxor and Sarah's room (a.k.a. the Smoking Lounge) where I laughed and laughed and laughed. That night we had a group dinner at the Luxor Steakhouse, where I laughed and laughed some more. After dinner, a subset of our group decided to go see Bring It On at the 12:45 a.m. showing. Best. Decision. Ever. In fact, Best. Movie. Ever. Run, don't walk, to your nearest cinema and experience the joy.

That picture to the right is Pamie and her mom, but I'm getting ahead of myself again. After the best movie ever ended (so sad), we were all jazzed up. It was 2:30 a.m. What to do? Of course, karaoke! djb vaguely remembered a place called "Ellis Island" so we headed off, thanks to Pamie and djb's detective work. As we arrived, they were literally flicking the off switch on the karaoke machine and no amount of Pamie's tears would turn it back on. Luckily, someone suggested "this place near the Stratosphere" that may or may not be a Korean restaurant, but definitely had all-night karaoke. It was the place of our dreams. We took that place over. I thought I would bring the house down with my rendition of "Me and Bobby McGee", but apparently I misread the book because it was in fact, some song I did not know AT ALL (i.e. the Kris Kristofferson version), so I stood up on stage feeling very, very alone while I searched in vain for a key and a clue. Finally, I just started describing the accompanying video with comments such as, "What's up with this guy?" and "Those are not the words at all." It was the longest four minutes of my life. I did make a comeback when some guy brought everyone down with a sad, sad version of "He Ain't Heavy", which I quickly followed up with "Bust A Move". I was redeemed. We had incredible amounts of fun and Pamie got yelled at for rolling around on the floor. We arrived back at the hotel, exhausted, around 6 AM. We are rock stars!

Whew! Is this long enough for you? I'm making up for ten days of no entires. Anyway, Saturday, we were supposed to have an all-MBTV summit at, like, 2 PM in the hotel restaurant. Due to our late-night adventures the night before, said meeting was moved to 4 and then 4:30, and the location was changed to our hotel room. Everyone took the changes in stride, and the meeting went really well. We discussed moderating the forums, and got a sneak preview of upcoming additions to the Mighty Big Universe that sound super cool. After everyone disbanded, some people stayed in our room and ordered Return to Me on Pay Per View. It was a cute movie. We all met up again at 11:30 PM for -- wait for it -- more karaoke! We headed straight for Tong's Palace this time -- screw Ellis Island! It was hilarious fun! This picture is Wing and Sars "singing" I Don't Want To Wait, the theme song from Dawson's Creek. Wing is giving Sars a look because she wasn't really singing it because it is like eight octaves above high C. Sars boomed in response, "Sorry, I'm a BARITONE!" and we all laughed. There was a rival karaoke gang there, comprised of a bunch of geeky white boys and their Asian mail-order brides. At first, we were rivals -- they would do a few songs, then we would do a few songs. But that all ended when djb hit us with his delightful rendition of Lionel Richie's "All Night Long (All Night)" which forced the drunken rival karaoke gang onto the dance floor. They were slaves to the rhythm. djb started laughing so hard, he could not sing.

Other highlights of the evening included: Wing and Gustave's duet on "You Don't Bring Me Flowers" (as pictured to the right), where he called her some kind of bitch and she called him an "impotent drunk" in a very Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf fashion. Pamie's dramatic interpretation of "Flashdance (What A Feeling)" that included Jennifer Beals-esque dance moves. Sars and her brother duetting on "My Prayer", a song they used to sing together while washing dishes (aw!). Pamie and djb's duet on "La Isla Bonita", which featured both spot-on harmonies and native-like Spanish. Omar serenading our waitress with "Lady". Omar and Pamie duetting on "Separate Lives" (because Pamie's moving away from Austin to LA soon), and then Omar getting overcome and walking out of the room, and sobbing into a potted plant. Megyn specifically reviving her previous night's version of "Close To You" just so we could see the mullet-filled video, and then getting a video of Holland instead, which inspired her to yell "Where are the mullets?". Wendola fighting off one of the drunken karaoke rivals while singing "Let's Go Crazy", by giving him a boot to the ass. That same guy coming up to Gustave and giving him the thumbs-up, because he assumed Megyn was Gustave's girlfriend, when she is SO not. So many memories. So much fun. Pamie, Omar, Rebecca, djb, and Pamie's mom had to leave right from the bar to catch their early morning flight, and I was sad to see them go, because it was the beginning of the end of our super-fun weekend.

Sunday dawned, and those who were left enjoyed a late lunch at the hotel restaurant. Soon, we were down to just Sars, Mr. Stupidhead, Gustave, Niki, Wing and me. The first three had a red-eye flight late that night, so we needed to occupy ourselves for some time. Gustave came up with the idea of trying to recreate the poster for the camp classic, Valley of the Dolls, after noticing how much Niki resembles Sharon Tate. We did pretty well, considering it was from memory. We took a shot with Wing's Polaroid camera that turned out much better. After Niki left, we decided it was very necessary to go see Bring It On again, since Gustave had missed it the first time around. It was just as good the second time. In fact, I plan to see it a third time this weekend. Love it, love it, love it. We shopped for some campy souvenirs and then came back to our room and ordered room service while we watched The Simpsons and Malcolm In The Middle. All too soon, it was time for the NYC contingent to leave, and Wing and I were left alone.

We did a little more gambling (blackjack!) and I only lost a little bit. We decided to get one last Krispy Kreme, and on the way back, Wing took this picture of me and the animatronic camels in the hotel lobby. They are fucking with me. Look at the one on the left. He's totally looking at me. I hate animatronic animals. Back in our room, I ordered High Fidelity on the Pay Per View, having never seen it. Wing watched the beginning with me, but soon dozed off. I had to struggle to make it through the end, but I didn't want to go to sleep, because it meant that soon my trip would be over. We woke up early Monday morning and headed to the airport, where we bid each other farewell. On the plane home, I reflected on my trip. I was excited to get home and see Jim and my cats, but the trip was really great. In my group at home, I'm usually the funny one, or the smart one. But in this group of people, it was all I could do to keep up. Every one was so funny and so smart, that I just sat there and took it all in. I don't know how Wing and Sars managed to bring together such a great group of people, but they did. No one fought. I don't think anyone felt excluded. We just all had a kick ass time. I can't wait until next year, when we can do it all again, and hopefully the people who couldn't join us this time will be able to attend. And now it's September! My God, how time flies. Soon, I will be 30. Okay, so it's 28. Close enough.