June 20, 2000

One year ago: I don't answer the phone (still true), everyone is left-handed, I look like Kitty Bartholomew and I go on the Bataan Death March.

I know this is old news, but I am struck for something to say, so I thought I would give my thoughts on the recent release of the American Film Institute's list of funniest movies. I didn't see the television show about it, but I've heard about it in the news and the idea intrigued me. Apparently, these films were chosen by "leaders of the entertainment community" from a list of 500 films. So let's take a look at what made it and what didn't, shall we?

The first problem with this list is that standards of comedy have changed over the years (although people falling down is always funny to me!) and even defining what a comedy is can be difficult. A lot of movies that were funny also had dramatic or serious moments, making it difficult to classify them as a comedy. I'm going to use a highly sophisticated system: If a movie made me laugh on purpose (i.e. not The Boy in the Plastic Bubble), it's a comedy. If I didn't find it funny, it's not. So I guess this is more my funniest films and your mileage may vary. But it's my site! Also, I'm only discussing the ones I have seen, and of those, only the ones I feel merit discussion of any kind. If you want the full list, follow the link above.

100. Good Morning Vietnam. I have seen this movie and yet I have no memory of it. I guess this was back when I still though Robin Williams schtick was funny, so at the time, I probably laughed. But I'm sure if I watched it now, I would find it annoying and preachy, like the rest of William's present-day work.

99. The Nutty Professor. The Jerry Lewis one, not the Eddie Murphy one. I don't know if I've ever seen an entire Jerry Lewis movie, but I just wanted to say that I don't find him funny, and none of his movies would be on my list.

97. Bull Durham. This was a comedy? I mean, Tim Robbins was funny, especially trying to sing and play the guitar, but I would consider this movie a romance, sort of. I now find it a bit unintentionally funny because Kevin Costner is so sincere with his speech about "the small of a woman's back". Bleh.

93. Fargo. This should be way higher on the list. Come on! This movie was hilarious! My cousin saw this movie and didn't get why anyone liked it, and she kept asking me to explain it to her. I'm sorry, but if you don't think it's funny, explanations aren't going to help. I found it hilarious and think it should be way up there. It stands repeated viewings.

89. The Jerk. I also think this one should be higher, but I'm not sure it would stand the repeated viewings test. I know I thought it was the funniest movie in the world when I was about ten years old, though. I have seen bits and pieces since, and I still laughed, but I'm not sure if I laughed due to real comedy or nostalgia. Also, shouldn't Jim Carrey and the Farrelly Brothers give Steve Martin some money or something? Their work was obviously influenced by this movie.

88. Beetlejuice. I never thought this movie was that funny, but then again, I'm scared of Michael Keaton in general.

87. Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Again, not so much a laugh-out-loud comedy as a lifestyle film. I mean, there were funny lines, sure, and Sean Penn cracked me up as Jeff Spicoli. It also introduced my stange and inexplicable crush on Judge Reinhold that carries through to this day. I know. I'm ashamed.

86. City Slickers. I guess. I don't think I would really call this a classic film. It didn't have any really classic, quotable lines (like Fast Times) and it wasn't influential (like The Jerk). It's just kind of there.

82. Private Benjamin. Goldie Hawn = Not funny. She's not. Just because you're pretty and then you fall in the mud doesn't make you funny.

74. 9 to 5. I'm starting to feel the shame for how many of the older films I just haven't seen. Anyway, I'll allow this one, and it seems to be about in the right place. It was the Office Space of its time.

71. Caddyshack. You're kidding me that this isn't even in the top half. Obviously, the voters were all 85 years old. I mean, Rodney Dangerfield withstanding, this is a funny-ass movie. Remember when Chevy Chase used to be funny? Remember his song about "I was born to love you..."? And need I even mention Bill Murray and the gopher? And the gopher dancing at the end after the entire golf course blows up? Even the "Danny Noonan makes a life decision" subplot wasn't annoying and heavy-handed. Required viewing.

67. Mrs. Doubtfire. Mrs. Doubtfire? Mrs. Fucking Doubtfire is ahead of Fargo and Caddyshack? Dude, those voters need to lay off the drugs. Did Robin Williams bribe each and every one of them? This movie was not funny. I might give you a touch of "heartwarming", if that's your thing, but it was not funny. I mean, if this is on here, where's Bicentennial Man? Wasn't that essentially the same movie?

64. Broadcast News. Was this a comedy? It was a good movie, and one that resonates even more today, but was it a comedy? I guess Albert Brooks had some funny lines. I'm confused about film classification.

63. Beverly Hills Cop. This was funny at the time, and was certainly influential in the funny cop movie genre, so I'll let it slide. It doesn't really hold up to repeat viewings, but it's not ranked that highly, so whatever.

57. Diner. Sure. I'll allow this. I might even put it higher up. I know it's a very "guy movie" kind of movie, and I know some men have very strong feelings about it. Although, maybe it should get some demerits for launching the career of Steve Gutenberg.

53. Arthur. This was another one of my favorite movies when I was ten. This was back in the day when HBO just played the same movies like three times a day. It was this, Mommy Dearest and The Shining. Anyway, this is not so funny now. It's like "Ooh, he's an alcoholic who's ruining his life along with his liver! Ha ha!". Except not.

43. American Graffiti. This is another one that is not a comedy. It's not a comedy! It's a good movie, but it's not a comedy, and it needs to be on some other list.

42. Big. This is about right for this one. Remember when Tom Hanks was really funny and charming and did physical comedy really well? I defy you to watch the baby corn eating scene and not giggle a little bit. Or the "silly string as snot" scene. My question is, where is Bachelor Party? Adrien Zmed! Tawny Kitaen! Now that's quality.

41. Moonstruck. It's like, if a movie won an OscarTM, the voters felt obliged to place it somewhere on the list. I have no feelings towards this film whatsoever. I probably giggled when I first saw it. I have not seen it again, nor do I have any desire to. Should a movie like that make this list?

36. Animal House. It fits all my criteria -- it was influential and it's got quotable lines. And it made me laugh. If I run across it on television, I'll watch it.

34. Groundhog Day. I like Bill Murray as much as the next person, maybe even more. But this movie does not deserve to be this high on the list. What's #33, Green Card?

33. Green Card. Ha! Just kidding. Really it's a Charlie Chaplin movie I haven't seen.

31. Raising Arizona. I never really jumped on this bandwagon, but I know a lot of people who think this movie is hilarious and quote it all the time, and it's the Coen Brothers, so I'll allow it.

29. This is Spinal Tap. Finally! The right movie in the right slot. This is more like it. Made before Rob Reiner got all sentimental. Hey, there's a Spinal Tap reunion on The List on VH1 tomorrow night!

28. Ghostbusters. Due to Comedy Central showing this movie twice a day, I can attest that it is still funny. Not due to the script or the special effects, but due to Bill Murray, Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis. They were all at the peak of their respective comedy careers, and it shows. I just wish someone besides Sigourney Weaver was in it. Why does Bill Murray get stuck with creepy leading ladies? Sigourney Weaver, Andie McDowell...

27. There's Something About Mary. I never thought this movie was all that funny. I guess it probably deserves to be on the list, but not this high.

23. When Harry Met Sally.... I have to confess that this is one of my favorite movies of all time, and I don't even really like Billy Crystal OR Meg Ryan. But it has some great lines and I'm a sucker for movies that follow characters through various times in their lives, with accompanying bad hairstyles and clothing choices. And it is funny. It should be like #89 or something, though.

21. A Fish Called Wanda. Only the inclusion of so many Monty Python-ers made this movie funny, I think. And I like Kevin Kline, for some unknown reason. File him with Judge Reinhold under "Inexplicable Crushes".

16. Singin' In the Rain. This is #16? This is a musical, not a comedy. I mean, it has it's humorous parts, but #16? On the comedy list? I am so confused.

15. The Philadelphia Story. I think this belongs on some top movie list, but not this one. It is a great movie, and one that stands the test of time, but I don't know if it's funnier than, say, Caddyshack, and it's hard to compare the two because they are so vastly different in style, tone, everything.

14. Bringing Up Baby. I feel pretty much the same way about this one as I do about The Philadelphia Story. Great movie, but all-time great comedy? I guess it's more of a comedy than Philadelphia Story though. I'll allow it. It still smacks of "I've never seen it but people say it's good and it's in black and white, so being a serious film lover, I should vote for it" to me.

13. Young Frankenstein. Sure. Exactly. I might even put it higher on the list.

10. Airplane!. Influential. Quotable. Still laugh out loud funny. I might even put this one higher as well, although it doesn't have a broad appeal. Not everyone enjoys this type of humor, I guess, which is probably why it's not in the single digits.

9. The Graduate. This is so not a comedy. What was funny about this movie? I don't get it. This one is like American Graffiti -- an important film to a certain generation of people, without a lot of comedy.

8. It Happened One Night. Influential. Black and white. Not that funny in modern times. It's interesting as a historical document of the standards of the time, but not laugh out loud funny. Or maybe I'm a philistine.

7. M*A*S*H*. If this is a comedy, it's definitely a dark comedy, which I appreciate. I mean, I'd much rather see this movie on the list than Mrs. Fucking Doubtfire.

6. Blazing Saddles. Now you're talking. I'm wondering if the Farrelly Brothers also give money to Mel Brooks, because they obviously owe him a great debt.

2. Tootsie. I know I skipped a bunch in there, even though I have seen some, I don't have anything to say about them either way. Anyway, how the hell is this the second funniest film of all time? I mean, yes, Bill Murray is in it, but not nearly enough. I guess the voters find men dressing up as women the height of comedy. How do I know this?

1. Some Like It Hot. This is the funniest film of all time. Was it funny? Sure. Does it deserve to be #1? Hell, no.

Let's look at the movies that were nominated but didn't make this list, that I think should have. 48 Hours, A Christmas Story, Ace Ventura, An American Werewolf in London, Austin Powers, Back to the Future, Bob Roberts, Clerks, Clueless, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Fletch, Heathers, Meatballs, National Lampoon's Vacation, Parenthood, Pee Wee's Big Adventure, Police Academy, Porky's, Sixteen Candles, Swingers (although I'm not sure if I would call it a comedy, but it was pretty consistently funny), The Naked Gun, The Opposite of Sex, The Princess Bride, The Ref (just because I like Denis Leary so much), Waiting For Guffman, Wayne's World.

And the movies that were nominated that should not have been: About Last Night, Addams Family Values, Aladdin, Back to School, Bye Bye Birdie, Forrest Gump, House Party, Jerry Maguire (a comedy?), Liar Liar, Mary Poppins, Men in Black, My Best Friend's Wedding (a comedy?), Pretty Woman, Private Parts (can an autobiography be a comedy?), Pulp Fiction (a great film, and funny in parts, but I wouldn't call it a comedy), Say Anything (a comedy?), Shakespeare in Love (do I even have to say it?), Terms of Endearment (ha ha, her husband cheated on her and then she died of cancer! Ha! Hilarious!).

You can go to the official website and see what the public voted as the funniest movies, and place votes yourself. I notice that lowbrow comedy didn't do very well on the official list, and also that John Hughes got robbed. And I can't believe Clerks didn't make the list. That was a funny freakin' movie. Okay, this is super long. Later.

P.S. Reunion Countdown: 25 days away!