December 16, 1999

So I accidentally deleted my webcam software while doing some housecleaning on my hard drive last night. No biggie -- it's shareware and I can download it again. But it means no picture today. I know you are all incredibly disappointed.

I saw that Rob was disparaging Amazon wish lists in his latest entry. And then Stee and Lucy had to go and ask for donations to charity in place of gifts. Damn them! And here I thought all my readers would shower me with presents.

I'm being sarcastic there. It was never my intent for my readers to buy me gifts. I'm not buying you all anything! To the online people who have bought me gifts (and you know who you are!), I already bought you something anyway so neener, neener, neener. As I said when I originally posted it, I made the wish list for Jim and Ken, because both of them were confused about what to buy me and I thought it would make things easier. I also sent it to my mom. I only posted it here because I think it's interesting to see what people chose, as kind of a glimpse into their heads. Like, what if I wrote in this journal about how cultured I am, and I only listen to classical music and watch PBS, and then my wish list was all The Spice Girls and the X-Files. That would be kind of funny, no? Well, that's all I have to say about that.

I went out to Clark's last night with some friends from school. I didn't really feel like going out because it was gray and slushy, but I knew it was possibly the last time I might see some of those people, since some of my friends are finished with the program this month. And I'm glad I went. But getting there was such a trial. You'd think after living in this city for about seven years, I would have a clue how to get around. But I don't. One of my friends sent directions, but I said, "Phew! I don't need no stinkin' directions! I know how to get there." Famous last words, right? First, I got off the wrong exit. I passed the correct exit and thought, "I should have gotten off there." And then I thought, "Well, I can just get off at the next one." Bad idea. Whenever I start thinking I can outsmart the highway system, I should just stop.

So I get off and I'm in the middle of Back-asswardsville, USA. At least I have a nominal sense of direction, and I knew I needed to go East or Left. After a number of one-way streets (and why do all downtown areas have so many one-way streets?), I finally found a street that allowed me to move in that direction. I'm driving, I'm driving -- hey, there's the War Memorial! I think I got so excited to see a landmark I recognized that I just pulled into the next parking area, paid my $4 (!) and got out. So I'm walking down the street and I realize, "I am nowhere near where I need to be. It's dark, I'm alone, I'm not wearing a coat, it's like 20 degrees out and I have no idea where I am. I think I would rather be in my car." So I get back in my car, drive very shamefacedly past the parking attendant that I forked over $4 to not five minutes earlier, and hit the streets again. Finally I just ended up going back to the street I should have exited onto originally and making my way from there, and I found the place in like two minutes. See, I knew where it was! The problem is I don't know any street names, and I only know where things are in relation to other things. Once I saw the Landmark Theatre, I knew Clark's was right around the corner, because I remember walking by Clark's on our way to see Jethro Tull at the Landmark.

Oy vey. I know I'm an idiot. Yes, I have a map in my car. No, I did not consult it. So anyway, I was only about 15 minutes late. I had a great roast beef sandwich (a Clark's specialty) and brought one home for Jim. I enjoyed one glass of Woodchuck Cider. I chatted with my friends. I tried to copy the accent of this one guy, who talks just like Spike on Buffy. We laughed. One of my friends gave me some chocolate-covered peanut butter balls, and I've nearly eaten all of them already. Good times.

Maybe tomorrow I'll talk about the annoying guy at the bar, but this is long enough already. Keep it real.

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This author's first mistake? Expecting customer service and honesty from buy.com. You get what you pay for. They have low prices, but they frequently lie about whether items are in stock (in my personal experience) and their customer service sucks.

I think putting the Olympics on cable is a better solution than putting them on Pay Per View (like NBC tried to do a few years back). Even better -- show them at 4 in the morning and then people who can't miss the second round of the women's archery finals can tape it.

The nation mourns as Garth Brooks talks of retiring. Actually, hardly anyone mourns.

Clearly, James Brown is on drugs again, since he's saluting Strom Thurmond, possibly the most racist member of Congress.

ABC picks up "The Drew Carey Show" through 2002. Too bad that show stopped being funny a looong time ago.

Get used to hearing the word Luddite. I predict it will be the hottest buzzword of the next decade, particularly among cranky Baby Boomers who are confused by technology.