November 17, 1999

So I got digital cable installed today. I ordered it last week. Then Jim and I talked about it and decided not to get it because we were just complaining about not having enough money for a house, and then we're going to go and spend more money? Didn't make sense. Then I didn't cancel it. I guess I realized that the extra $15/month isn't going to make the difference between us affording a house or not, and with the winter coming on, we are going to be house-bound a lot more often. So we might as well have cool stuff on television if we have to hate our neighbors so much. At least, that's how I'm justifying it.

Anyway, it also comes with the cable music channels and I am listening to the 80s channel right now. The last song was "The Best of Times" by Styx, which was my senior prom theme. Yes, I realize how cheesy that is. So I decided to tell the story of my prom date, the alleged murderer. I'm going to try very hard not to say anything that could potentially get me sued, though.

Tonight's the night we'll make history, honey, you and I
And I'll take any risk to tie back the hands of time and stay with you here tonight

I didn't have a boyfriend when I was in high school. I had crushes on lots of guys, one in particular for a long time. But I was more like one of the guys, I guess. Either that or I was super ugly. But whatever. Suffice to say, I didn't have a boyfriend in high school, and thus I never went to the prom until senior year.

I know you feel these are the worst of times I do believe it's true.
When people lock their doors and hide inside,
Rumor has it it's the end of paradise...

My junior year, I started tutoring this guy, Mike, in chemistry. He was nice enough, but very, very shy. One night at the end of our tutoring session, he asked me to go to the movies sometime. We decided to go the night of the prom, since neither of us were going. We went to see K9 Cop. I can't believe I remember that! Afterwards, we went to McDonalds. I thought we had a nice time, but we didn't hold hands or kiss or anything. After that, he never asked me out again, so I figured he decided he wasn't interested and kind of gave up. I was never really sure that I was even interested, but I figured what the hell, you know?

But I know, if the world just passed us by
Baby I know, you wouldn't have to cry

Cut to senior year. I bought a dress for the prom in February, even though the prom was in May, because I really wanted to go, seeing as how I had never been. I figured I should have the experience at least once. The only problem was that I didn't have a date. I asked my friend Blaine, who was from another town, but he told me his parents wouldn't let him go. Looking back, he probably just didn't want to go. A week before the prom, I decided I was going to go stag with another girl in my class (seemingly the only other girl without a date!). Then, on Monday (with the prom that Saturday), she told me she had asked a guy to go with her over the weekend and he had accepted. That backstabber! I'll never forgive you, Leslie! So, now I was stuck with the dress, the ticket and all, and no date. Some of my friends suggested I ask Mike since he didn't have a date and since we had gone out that one time. I gathered up my courage and asked him.

The best of times are when I'm alone with you
Some rain some shine, we'll make this a world for two

He said no. He turned me down! I was so desperate that I begged him to go, and offered to pay for everything if he could just drive. He finally agreed.

The night of the prom, he picked me up and we went with another couple to dinner. We got to the prom and all of my friends were all lovey-dovey with their boyfriends. I saw the guy I was totally in love with (i.e. not my date) and he told me I looked great, and in typical teenage fashion, that got me really upset. It sucked. It was the least fun I think I've ever had. Molly has this perfect picture of me sitting there with the most sour look on my face. After the prom, we went to a girls' house for a lame party, and I think I was home by like 1 a.m. And didn't talk to Mike much after that. But I still thought he was a good guy.

Our memories of yesterday will last a lifetime
We'll take the best, forget the rest and someday we'll find...

I didn't think about Mike much in the intervening years. I know he went to a community college for two years, and I heard he was working with his grandfather. I heard his little brother went on Sally Jesse one time and the topic was something like "We had sex after the prom, and then you dumped me" and I laughed.

These are the best of times.

Last summer, my mom called me and before I could say hello, she blurted out: "Your prom date is a murderer!" I was all, "What are you talking about?" and she told me. Now this is all conjecture, and God knows I hope it's not true. The story is that Mike made friends with this woman named Annette. Annette wanted a divorce, but her husband wouldn't give her one. So Mike said he would take care of it. He made some excuse to meet Annette's husband at a grocery store, and then shot him. Then he left the vehicle and the body in a parking garage in Niagara Falls, and someone (possibly Annette) came and picked him up.

Annette knew about it, supposedly. She went on television proclaiming her husband missing and asked for people's help in finding him, and the whole time she knew he was dead. After a few days, she confessed to police and laid the blame on Mike. The police recovered the body and brought Mike in for questioning. Even though they questioned him for over 12 hours, they didn't have enough to make an arrest. This happened in July and he didn't get arrested until November. He's out on bail.

The trial was supposed to start last month, but Mike got in a farming accident and has been hospitalized, so the trial's been postponed to January. I really hope he didn't do it. When my mom told me, I was pretty freaked out. Wouldn't you be? All my friends from high school were calling me. My brother said he's going to sell my story to the Enquirer, but they never called.

These are the best of times.

So, my ten year high school reunion is next summer. If Mike's not in jail, do you think he'll show?

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Some of the feedback on Ironminds about my WWF article is amusing. One point worth addressing, though: how can I watch wrestling when it objectifies women so much? Answer: Doesn't most television objectify women? And magazines? And every other visual medium? At least with the WWF, it's so obvious and blatant, and yet done with a sense of humor, that I can tell myself it's parody. The whole thing is so over the top.

Didn't they already show "Never Before Seen" footage of the Friends' series premiere when it went into syndication?

Jaid Barrymore (Drew's mom) is auctioning off her daughter's baby clothes and some movie memorabilia. How wrong is that?

Scientists have been doing research on the brain of Kip Kinkel, the boy responsible for the school shooting in Oregon.

As someone who went to a Jesuit college, this story about the Catholics cracking down makes me nervous. I thought the point of an institution of higher learning was to hire the people that will best educate the students, not necessarily those who ascribe to your particular religious beliefs.

They're already talking about the Playstation 3? Maybe they should release the Playstation 2 first.

Poison Pen will send an anonymous e-mail for you on such subjects as "You smell bad". I wish you could read the text before buying though.

Why do guys love Natalie Portman? Jim used to have a little crush on her, but he's changed his mind. He says he's lost respect for her because she's a vegan, and he can't respect that. I feel the same way about Scientology.

They are redesigning the $5 and $10 bills. I'm still not used to the new $20 bills yet! I wish they would put some more color in them, like Canada. Speaking of which, I have a bunch of loonies left over from Gretchen's stagette party.

If you don't get MTV, or just want to actually watch a video since MTV doesn't really play them anymore, Launch offers Video on Demand. You have to sign up, but it's free.

Poor Paula Marshall. First Cupid gets cancelled. Then she gets dropped from Snoops, of all things.