I don't think that story makes you sound like an old lady, as that could've easily been a page out of my life, and I'm a 20-something guy. Yes, even down to the hiding under the bed with the rosary. What?!? Cops have guns and they're scary and not to be messed with! That's what's wrong with these kids today, disrespecting cops and authorities. When I was a kid....

In other news: the link to your journal that you send out in the e-mail updates doesn't work for me (in case you wanted to know). The e-mail link puts a %23002878 on the end of the URL that brings you to the 404 haiku. That's on Entourage for Mac OS X, if that's helpful.

FYI about the Entourage/OS X thing -- even Apple has thrown up its hands when it comes to supporting Entourage and HTML newsletters. I'll see if I can dig up the email I've gotten about it.

So I wouldn't fret too much about it.

Urgh! Noise is the worst! It doesn't matter how old you are -- it's annoying. It really gets me when stupid people forget that they live in a COMMUNITY not a TINY BUBBLE WITH JUST THEM IN IT. Sorry, but it really irritates me. I've had this problem before, in college dorms, in nice quiet neighborhoods. Don't be afraid of the little snots, and don't care what they think. They are the ones who are screwing around. Somehow, they think they're the cool ones and you're lame for tattling on them? Please. Let's be mature adults, mmm'kay? If they do it again, don't hesitate to bust their asses again.

i knew i was getting old when i would shout after cars speeding down our street like that old guy in the toyota commercial. "This is a neighborhood!" unfortunately, this kind of behavior amuses me and The Mister to no end, which in turn makes us do it even more. we like to think of ourselves as Grumpy Old Wo/Men in Training.

ps: you with your rosary underneath your bed? priceless catholic guilt imagery. ;)

I'm with you on supporting cat-owning businesses. I always go to a certain second-hand store in my neighborhood b/c they have a beautiful grey cat who lives there. I mean, he's a bitey cat and all but still a nice touch. lord, I'm 28 and already a crazy cat lady.

Funny, I am only 20 and can kinda relate. The other day I was tring to do homework and the girl across the street that is my age was having a party and the were being sooo loud! I kept bitching to my boyfriend... He replied, "Shut the hell up, God. You are 20, not 80... Lighten up." I felt old. I don't think I would have called the police or anything, but it was only 10:00. Anyway, I am having a party tonight. ::crosses fingers:: lets hope for no police.

"Old lady", old schmady! I am a firm believer in letting 'authorities' deal with the noise-tards. If they have no respect for others - as clearly and proudly evidenced by their utter abandon at loudly and disruptingly leading their sory lives in public spaces -- I surely don't owe them the respect of approaching them in an effort to reach some 'understanding'. I doubt it would work even if I were so inclined since I gotta think that any clod who's been ambling around for a decade or more yet still DOESN'T GET the basics of etiquette already is not going to be suddenly moved by my plea -- but they WILL be moved by cops!

Manners have nothing to do with age. You have them; they don't. Unfortunately, there are those people in this world who don't suscribe to the same rules that the rest of us do, and there's not much we can do about it. That doesn't mean they aren't a bunch of jerks though! :) I'm glad you didn't go over there, too. Since the cops didn't have any effect, they probab;y just would have been unkind to you.

And I'm with you on the cat. My mom used to work at a very upscale clothing store that had a cat (named C.C. for Company Cat) and all the customers loved it. It just gives a place character.

Oh, I've just turned thirty but have been called 'Granny' by my best friend for years. I love cardigans, milky tea, fat old cats (especially those in store windows) and tell people to shush in movie theatres. I'm a regular party animal!

Anyway, the noise thing. My upstairs neighbours are total dicks about noise and after three nights of listening to the girl scream her boyfriend down for over an hour (at 2:30am) I called the police. They were great, really understanding. I also didn't care if the girl knew it was me because I felt totally within my rights about it. And she's very small.

So, you know, the old lady thing, go with it.

Does every cat-owning shop have to own a smoky gray cat? There's a scrapbook shop near me that has a smoky gray cat in it named Spooky. Cute cat, too. But I don't think I've ever been in a cat-owning shop where the cat isn't smoky gray.

Hey, I'm totally with you about the noise issue. I'm 31, but that's not old. That just means that most of the time we have some sense. We had nothing but problems from the snot-nosed college kids in our apt. complex. We first tried to talk to them, but when that didn't work, we called the cops on them two or three times in one night. When the cops arrived, they tried to seduce the cops into coming and partying with them. Luckily, at least one of them had the common sense to say no. We complained to the apartment office people, who thought we were making it up. (Because the people in our building are apparently friends of the people across the hall or have already been turned in for their noise violations.) One day while discussing the noisy neighbors, the apartment manager told us that we had a noise complaint filed about us for a domestic dispute. As I pointed out to her, she's a freaking liar, and we are the best tenants in this damn apartment complex. I'm guessing that my husband calling her boss afterward and getting her in hot water convinced her to do her job and call the parents of those snots. We have had a few problems since, but not from the ones across the hall--try across the courtyard, two buildings over--it's a haven for stupid rich kids. As I've told my husband numerous times, I acted stupid when I was in college. I admit that, but I wasn't living in a $750 a month apartment; mine was a $235/mo. apartment where stupidity was expected. I also didn't drive a Lexus or a BMW convertible, like many of these spoiled-rotten brats....Let me stop now. I'm getting worked up again.

BTW, Love the site! Great links and comments!!!

Kim, I love a shop with a cat in it. It's such a fun surprise, like "Well, I just needed some orange and white streamers for Halloween, and this is a bonus!" or "That supposedly historical mine would be really lame, but they had the neatest lazy Calico cat in there, so it wasn't a total bust." I think every privately owned non-conglomerate bookstore needs a cat.

My sister runs a cat-owning shop, and hers is brown and black and thinks it's a dog.

You know, just to buck the smokey-gray trend.

As a former Syracusan moved south, and age 39 to boot, you're not old and you're not unreasonable. I found there are assholes here as much as there. And I love to shop at stores that have "store cats." There's one in Austin that has two, and I go in there sometimes just to pet them. BTW, my 30th birthday was the best so far. I'd finally gotten my B.A. and looked forward to a much better decade. It has been all that and more. I'm counting on the fourth decade to continue the trend. :) Enjoy life. I'll continue to enjoy reading your journal.

Kim,

You're cool as hell. I love reading your recaps for The Real World on TWoP... they're hilarious!! I was looking at the staff pages on that site today nd came across the link to this one. So, yea, you rock and you're pretty damn funny. Keep it up.

By the way, 29 is no where near old.

--Ashley

dont wanna be judgemental or anything, but arent you a bit too old to be watching mtv? isn't vh1 more for your demographic?

Ouch.

Oh, man, I've been complaining about noise since I was a kid. I used to shoot BBs at the birds chirping in the trees if I thought it was too early for all that racket.

Congrats and good luck on getting married. theknot.com is a PRICELESS resource. We used their checklist and budgeting tools.

Don't feel old. I was slightly embarrassed, but more angry that I was put in a position of having to do it at all, when I called the police about a dog that was consistently barking and whining as early as five in the morning. I justified it to myself as an animal safety thing to--I couldn't tell which house the whining/barking was coming from (dense neighborhood)--but when I'm feeling brutally honest I know it was because I loathe having my sleep disrupted. All of this to say that I just turned 24. It's not an age thing.

I love cat stores, too. A great comic/second hand book store in my area has a cat. We were all so embarrassed or it when it went into heat before the owner could get it fixed.

Love the site. I am pulling my hair out over my fricken neighborupstairs and yes I have some gray hair, thank god there is hair color. I have a neighbor, supposedly a physician although she looks about 24, I could have MD placed after my name on my mail if I wanted also, anyways. That girl plays her music so loud I believe I have an ulcer. I spoke with the manager of the apartment and also spoke with MS MD and the noisy neighbor asked us to turn on our air conditioner to drown out her noise, dah, it's -1 degrees here. I should NOT have to turn on anything to decrease the noise of her music. She said dah, she turned down the bass, I thought to myself, girl turn down the volume, right? I ran into her in the laundry area and told her her bass turning down did not help and I said you're going to have to do something because it's too loud!! I have had it, short of going up there and pounding on her door, jerking out her hair and ripping out the stereo I don't know. She obviously lacks brain cells. I want to find out what the laws are in my area. I can't move out because I am here to work so I am stuck. Funny thing is that the girl that lived her before complained too although MS. MD said she never had any complaints before, hello? Thank god I have valium with me but why should I have to suffer because of the actions of one person?????? I feel like marching up there dragging her out by her pretty long blonde hair and making her listen to her second hand music from my apartment which I asked her to do, (she declined). Anyways, I feel some better being able to voice my complain. I nicknamed her my "barking dog" another of my pet peeves thank god she doesn't have one of those. Alright, checking on laws in the area and hey, think I'll have a valium!
Take care all.
Nice Neighbor

In 1998, my family and I moved to newly-opened gated, home owner association-controlled community in the Houston, Texas area.

I am more noise sensitive than many, especially to unwanted music. One of the features that attracted me to the community were the strict anti-noise restrictions:

"No exterior speakers, horns, whistles, bells, or other sound devices shall be permitted on the property."

And:

"No television, sound, or amplification system or other such equipment shall be operated at a level that can be heard outside of the building in which it is housed."

For extra assurance of a quiet location, we chose a cul-de-sac lot.

We were amoung the first residents on the street, so there was no way to tell what the neighbors and environment would be like. One thing I have learned is that everyone is nice at first when they are all in a new place. I had hoped it would stay that way, but as the months and years passed, people changed and the cliques formed.

In 1999, the last home was completed on a very small lot directly across the cul-de-sac. A family moved in that seemed fine at first, but I began to have reservations about the father. He was a loud-talking, agressive type prone to load belching and chain smoking.

From what I know now, I describe him as a "Ralph Kramden" of the Honeymooners TV show, or his cartoon counterpart Fred Flintstone. He is very good at finding Ed Norton and Barney types to enable his behaviour. By himself, he is not that bad. He can also be very cordial and charming when convenient. I will refer to him as "Ralph" from now on.

Here is an audio clip where ironically "Ralph" does a "Honeymooners" impression with some of his buddies, probably after enjoying a few adult beverages. This ocurred after I had noticed the similarity. He does a dead-on Ralph Kramden, and one of the others does a just as dead on Ed Norton.

A few weeks earlier, the second-to-last home was occupied by a family with 3 children that were allowed to run wild, with a mother who also had a liking for adult beverages.

What happened rapidly is that a clique formed between these two new families and the one that lived next door to "Ralph's" home. Ironically, this particular familly was the first on the street. It was then that I learned about the downside of cul-de-sacs in that they can become "turf".

Soon the cul-de-sac became a playground for screaming children and various sports activities involving adults and children. Balls would frequently hit our garage door, and they would frequently run into our yard to fetch them. I have an audio clip of one instance late at night.

One particularly obnoxious activity was the playing of an adult golf game from front yard to front yard with a real ball! I was not yet recording or photographing, so I don't have a record of this.

The cumulative effect of this activity was a feeling of being intimidated and I loathed even seeing the people together.

In 2001, the situation escalated when "Ralph" and two of his buddies began singing and playing guitars on his front porch at night. At first it was acoustic, but vocal and instrument amplification were gradually introduced. Eventually, it evolved into a more-or-less full-fledged music studio in "Ralph's" garage.

I took immediate objection to this. Because of their prior conduct, it probably seemed worse that it would have otherwise, and also ruled out was the "neighborly talk" that is normally the best first step in resolution. It is very difficult to explain these factors to a third party.

I informed the homeowner's association about this, quoting the anti-noise restrictions that clearly rule it out. They had been effective in quickly resolving some problems with other neighbor's outside speakers, and I though this would be no different.

The music went on, and I filed a few more complaints. The police were called a few times.

Two disturbing practices developed during this period. One of the "garage singers's" favorite songs was Jimmy Buffet's "Margaritaville", and they started incorporating my name in the lyrics!

Now you know how my site domain name was chosen! It is a way to intellectually poke fun back at them.

Sometimes when "Ralph" was angry, he would let the street know by launcing into a drum solo. He often did this when members of my family were outside or pulling into the driveway. Here is an audio clip recorded as my 17 year-old son moved his car. You can hear him run inside as quickly as possible, and the drumming stops as soon as the garage door is closed.

Here is one he did when I was outside tending to some watering. He mockingly comments 'The sheriff's on the way!'

During the course of all this, the HOA told me that they saw no evidence of violations, despite sending them some of the above clips (which is why I began recording).

I firmly believe that "Ralph" has somehow charmed the board members into seeing things his way. Or perhaps they were warned, but the board did not admit it to me. EIther way, that is spineless leadership that only serves to make the problem worse and further enable "Ralph".

In my frustration, I decided to take my plight to cyberspace and lauched my site. I was inspired by the growing "neighbor from Hell" site phenomena, started by an individual named Carlos. It is no longer up, but here is an archived version.

My site has been a huge source of stress relief, and I have agressively promoted it.

I believe that my site will help to empower similar victims elsewhere. I am constantly searching for "NFH" and anti-noise links and adding them to my site links pulldown menus.

I would be more than happy to help other victims tell their story. The site contains full, illustrated instructions on PC-based sound recording. I would even be willing to set up a page on my site for any of you with NFH sounds, pictures, or video.